Be A Crap Vegan

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words and music by Paul Spencer, 2004

G                           Bm                                Em                            D

1. Poor people starve from the moment they’re born,

     G                                            (F#)  Em                D

Working all day growing soya and corn,

                G                         Bm                                Em                        D

At the end of the year they’re still broke and forlorn,

                       G                                                     D         G

And the food gets eaten by cows and pigs.

2. Dairy cows dying of udder diseases,

Caused by too many mechanical squeezes,

And chickens are tortured in sheds with no breezes,

You already know what the answer is.


    G                                C               Am

Gotta go vegan, I went vegan,

    D                       Em         D

Fucking go vegan too,

              C                                       G                         D                                     C

The way we’re treating animals is worse than being cannibals,

             G     C             G        D        G

And not even good for you.

3. But you can’t give up bacon, your hangover cure,

And cheeses seems so healthy you’re really not sure,

And butter on toast has such golden allure,

Well the answer’s esay and it goes like this:

Chorus: Be a crap vegan, I’m a crap vegan,

Be a crap vegan too,

I only eat a smattering of blood and death and battering,

And I reckon that will do.

4. I’d starve if I boycotted all things immoral,

And sometimes I just can’t be bothered to quarrel,

I’m a soft human being not hard like a coral,

Guess what my answer to a purist is: